Premature Babies: Changing the Birth Plan

As a women, we almost all think of what having a child would be like at some point in our younger years. We pick the sex of the child we'd like to have. We pick out the names our children will have.  

Once pregnant we prepare the room, we organize the clothes, the official name, the baby shower, and all that comes with making our nest to become parent.  Which also includes our birthing plan.

Do you want to give birth at the hospital, or with a mid wife? 

Do you want to give birth at home or elsewhere?

Do you want the epidural or live the full experience?

Everyone has their view on the subject and sometimes give it even without being asked.

This is the oldest conversation in the book. Conceiving / Children / Producing an grand child / Giving Life... You name it, it's all part of the cycle of life.

It's magical and beautiful. We have it in our head. We see it on TV. We all have an idea of what we want.

Did you have all those ideas in mind, before having your children?  I know I did!

UNTIL.... The plan goes OUT THE WINDOW and give you God's plan instead.

It can be a wide range of situation. A premature baby, a still death, a health problem or anything that is not considered "Normal".  It rocks the boat of any parent living through it.

In my case it had 2 daughters, both premature. They were born at 34 weeks of gestation.  I was 32 weeks pregnant, ready to have my baby in a birthing center with a midwife. I was so proud of myself. I was going to give my daughter the best start to her life. (In my mind)  A calm environment, with music, a warm bath, no noise, just care and soothing moments. I even did the Hypno-birthing course, to try to avoid the epidural.

At 32 weeks of pregnancy I have my normal check up, until I'm told  I have to be bed ridden. I was 8 cm dilated. My daughter could be born at anytime.

34 weeks and 4 days, a giant lump of placenta detached. I had to go to the hospital and give birth. My plan was out the door. No more birthing center for me. Just being attached to a monitor for hours. 

6 hours later she was born, healthy, but early. A few important function yet to develop, but very healthy. We were lucky.

With a premature baby, comes no baby shower. No celebration of my daughter coming into this world. A change in my plan of soon to be mother.  No Mid Wife.  A change in the birthing plan.  AND a lot of grieving.  

Rushing to the store after giving birth, just to get my child some clothes, some diapers,  wipes, a stroller / buggy and all the things a new born needs.  

However, there’s one thing she had,  and that’s the love of her parents ready to meet their beautiful daughter.

She was gorgeous. The most beautiful being I had ever laid eyes on. She made me a MOM. The most beautiful title I've ever been given.

Once you give birth prematurely, your chances of giving birth to another premature child increases. Which I was now ready for.  10 months later, I was pregnant again. Another beautiful girl. This time I knew to take it easier. Work less. Stress less... which is almost impossible, when you're self-employed, but you try your best.

I knew this would be my last child. I knew I wanted only 2 kids. That was it for me. She would be the last pregnancy I would live it and appreciate it for my final time.

At 20 weeks I was bed ridden. They didn't want to take the chance. I had to take it easy, in order to give myself a chance to have this baby as late as possible.

34 and 3 days came, and she was very excited to come and meet us too. In the hospital, we stayed 10 days, before returning home. She was beautiful. An angel! She made me realize that LOVE has no limit. It can multiply. Love is infinite. She made my heart grow even bigger than I ever thought possible. Thanks to her I am now a mom of 2 beautiful daughters, Blessed with the most valued title I'll ever get. Mother of 2 grandiose daughters. They light my heart and my life with an infinite amount of joy. They will never fully understand how they made my life full and complete... Until maybe one day, if they themselves walk to path of motherhood.

I will then experience the joys of being a grand-mother. Which apparently, is even better than being a mother. Fingers crossed! No pressure girls!! :)

Back to the original topic, of having your plans be changed. It's scary in the moment. It fill you with doubt and questions. Many years later, my daughters are healthy, strong, caring, bright girls who are turning into the most beautiful women I know. And I am proud to be their mother.

Trust yourself in your path, no matter if you're following the plan you had or if God is putting you on a different path. It all makes sense at some point. Lead your life with LOVE. 

What was your path?  If you’ve had premature babies.  I see you. xx