A Broken Heart / Broken Promises

Have you ever felt like what you are is only a provider? The person who gives, gives and gives and in return you are transparent?  Only but a fixture in the house?

The one that will lift mountains for everyone in your life?  The one that will do anything, even if it means putting your own life in danger, just so that the other person's life is safe, comfortable and better than they could have ever imagined? 

Feeling betrayed by the closest people to you?

Are you feeling empty of energy because you're giving it all away? The second you've replenished your energy and feel like you've taken the reigns of your life once again... 

You are beaten down by another situation or event that makes you feel even more little than the time before.

The deep wound I have felt in the last several months have beaten me down so much, that I barely know if I can make it out alive anymore. Friendships showing their true colours in the most crucial of times. Relationships that you thought were your safe place end up hurting you. 

When living such a situation, you very quickly realize who your real friends are and who you can count on.  But also, that no one is coming to save you.  That you’re the only one that can get yourself out of a deep rutt.  Victim or not.  No one  but you, will make you rise again.  

When such an event occur, so much analyzing come into play.  So much introspection, overthinking and tears are shed.  

We can’t control other people’s words and actions.  We can only control who we are, and who we want to share our time and energy with.

There are life lessons that teach you that no one is safe from no one. 

The second you think your safe, is when you have to rethink who you’re giving your safety to.  And it should never be to anyone else than yourself.  No matter how safe you think you are.  

You can very quickly turn the corner and get shocked by something unexpected.  A newsthat feels like a knife to the the heart. 

Don’t let anyone tell you how to manage your feelings and emotions when you’re living them.  

All emotions are allowed and should be respected.  Once again, this is when you know who should be at your side.  The true colours of people come out when you need them the most.  

Events like these tare you down and make you lose sense of who you are and your self-estime.  

 Surmounting the mountain that seems to keep getting bigger and bigger is possible. You just have to be gentle with yourself and take it one day at a time. Find a group of help, a friend, a therapist or anyone that will listen with kindness and a open heart.

You deserve to be listened to and understood. It might not be the immediate person you can think of that will listen to you.

A Pain like no other. The one where you think your life is going great and it crumbles from under you to destroy everything you ever believed in. and dreamed of.   

Rebuilding that takes time, love for yourself, care and kindness.

You deserve that time and kindness. You are heard and understood.

Come share your story here.

If you’ve lived a life changing event where it felt like life was ending.  That you’ve had to rebuild yourself from the ground up.  

Know that you are seen.  You are validated.  You can rise again.  

THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

ONE DAY AT A TIME.  ONE MINUTE AT A TIME.  GIVE YOURSELF GRACE AND TIME TO REBUILT YOURSELF.  ROME WASN’T BUILT IN A DAY.

WITH LOVE, JANIK.