What is a Soulmate? Does a Soulmate exist?

We girls are born with movies that show us that we will find our soulmate / our prince charming and live happily ever after. From Cinderella, to sleeping beauty to Snow White... it's no wonder we have all those ideas in our head. That our soulmate is waiting for us to complete us and make us whole. What do you think of this?

We dream of this said soulmate throughout our lives, our perfect wedding, our relationship, what we want in this perfect relationship and how our life will unfold. Not everyone does, but a lot of do, even secretely. We aspire to be swept off our feet and showered with love everyday.

We couldn't be further form the truth. The dream situation rarely exists. It can take a form that becomes seems perfect, but behind every curtain, there is dust or something that we want to hide. All relationship require work, love and devotion. Nothing comes for free.

Which brings me to the question... What is a soulmate? Does a soulmate, in the form of what we dream of, really exist?

What is a soulmate?

What do you think it is? Write it down... Make a list of 5 things that come to mind immediately about your idea of a soulmate. Does it match with what you lived in your past or current relationships? Most likely not.. right?!

The dictionnary definition of a soulmate is:

''A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.''

To me, that gives a wide range of possibility to what a soulmate can be.

It will be different from one person to another.

As a reflection, which could lead us to form our own idea of soulmate is ask yourself the following 3 questions:

1- When I am at my worst, am I seen by this person, appreciated and uplifted?

2- Can I share my secrets, needs and desires with this person and feel understood, valued and supported?

3- Will hardship make our relationship thrive or will this person run away at the first sign of difficulty?

Evaluate these 3 questions and your partner might not fill all the boxes, but is it ok with you? Are you comfortable with not being seen, understood, valued, desired, uplifted and more? If not, have you tried communicating your feelings to your partner? It is a crucial part of a relationship. No one will ever be able to read your mind and coded conversations. Be real and honest. Have the hard conversations with your partner in order to give your partner a chance to be your soulmate, if you want it to be.

To have a fulfilling relationship, it is complexe and work. But that's what makes it worth while. If you find that the person is worth while, and you are gaining as much as you are giving (putting in), you might have a soulmate in your hands.

You soulmate is what you make it. Relationships are a 2 way street and no one will put in the work for you. EVER.

So to get onto the second questions...

Do Soulmates exist?

They do, but they are not what we learn they should be a child. They come in different shapes ad forms. They all come with their own sets of rules and baggage. We are human and therefore can only put in what we know.

It is up to you to decide wether what is being put in by you and the other is sufficient for you to live a long and happy life together. Is it?

Have you put in the time and energy?

Has your partner done the same?

Do you feel seen, understood and appreciated?

If so, great, keep going and putting the love and care in your relationship.

If not, who is and isn't? Is it worth it? Do you want to?

Actions speak louder than words. Only time will tell, unless you already know the answer.

Do you is best for you. At the end of the day, that's who you'll be stuck with for the rest of your life.

You deserve to be happy, seen, understood and appreciated for who you are.

Don't change!