31. The summer before I turn forty (40)

So many things come to mind on the things that I'm living this year. I'm 39 and on my way to the big 40. The dreaded 40...

Do you 40 people out there fell like everything is better as you get older?! Or are you scared of aging?

To me, 40 feels right. 40 feels better. 40 feels bigger and seem like my best years are happening right now and are yet to come.

This summer is all about is about embracing the best version of myself. The version I had lost for so many years, since my operations and ailments are behind me. My head feels lighter and my heart fuller. It feels like the summer of love.

Watching the TV show "The Summer I turned pretty", I feel like the writer Jenny Han is speaking to my young soul. The young me. Listening to Taylor Swifts Era tour, inspires me to feel and spread love around me. They are bringing me back to my youth, whilst being exactly where I want to be, in the right here and the right now.

Love. Love is all! That's all you need in order to have a full life. Love of myself. Love and acceptance of others.

If you dont feel that way, but you want to... Read about love, listen to music about love, talk about love, walk around your neighbourhood and feel the love from everything around you. The birds, the moving leafs, the soft wind, the luscious clouds and the flying butterflies. They are all talking to language of love. You silly have to see it, feel it and absorb it.

The realization of what I've done, seen and been through, all my life, is the culmination of the best version of myself, everyday, every step of the way and for the rest of my life. Seeing the glass half full is a choice, but an easier one to make. To see and enjoy brighter days. The raising and upbringing of a bastard child, into a flourishing flower. This ever evolving being, that is the human being.

What does being 40 mean? What should turning 40 mean?

Forty can mean so much more than a number. Forty can mean possibility and adventure. It can also mean growth and simplicity. Finding the beauty in simple things around us, in people walking by, diversity, a simple kiss, a couple holding hands, a butterfly swirling around in the grass or the sun making its mark on your body by simply existing.

Life can be as simple as that. Being 40 is all about making the decision to see the glass half full or half empty. Those first 40 years of your life can be a sign of beauty or ugliness. It only depends what you do with it for the next 40 years of your life.

Feel uplifted to see yourself grow the wings to grow even more or see yourself be drowned by the heaviness of your sorrows. Which road will you take? Which road will write the next chapter of your life.

I choose to take the road to be simply happy. To see the beauty in the small things. To feel all my emotions but also be true to myself. Not let anyone else define who I really am. Not overtaking things. Just BE!