25. Engagement and Wedding

The engagement came the day I found out the sex of my first daughter. January 18 2012. He took me out to a restaurant to celebrate our 6th anniversary as a couple. Joe Beef in Montreal. I remember having a big Bloody Cesar, which was almost like a meal….

We finished our meal and went back home, where we proceeded to get comfortable in the living room. He’s not one for grand gestures… However he had asked me if I would prefer a grand gesture, if “One day” he were to ask me… We had had that conversation several times..

To my great surprise, he popped a ring out of his pocket and got down on one knee and gave a speech, which to this day I can’t remember what he said, because of all the emotions that came over me during his kneeing… and proposed to me. I remember it being sweet, kind, full of love and that he meant it. It wasn’t forced, it felt real. He wanted what I wanted. He wanted to give me what I wanted. The truest form of love anyone can ask for. Selfless proof of love.

He had gone back home to his parents in London, UK, for Christmas, without me. That’s where he knew I wanted my ring to come from. A vintage ring from the UK, that had seen love and looked like it was meant for me. He took time to search high and low to find me the perfect ring for his perfect girl.

We lived through our next few months, as expecting parents and new fiancés, very much in love. Full of projects coming our way. We took it one stride at a time, but together. As a team, as partners and lovers.

Love doesn’t mean that you will receive flowers and chocolates every day. Love doesn’t mean being swept off your feet every day or every week. not even every month. Love is making each other laugh, letting each other live and be the best version of ourselves with that person next to us uplifting us and seeing the best of us, even when we don’t always see it in ourselves.

Love means making hard decisions together, as a team. and not always finding 100% of what we want during that decision… but that it fits 100% of us, finding the “middle ground”. Feeling supported when you are down and supporting when the other person is down. Giving 100% of ourselves but allowing ourselves to feel only 10% on other days and seeing how that can fit in the relationship at that time. Love is pure and kind, it doesn’t judge and projects. It is pure and simple.

That year was perfect, our girl was born healthy. We planned our wedding during the summer. A simple wedding planning in an all-inclusive resort in Mexico, that happened in January 2013, less than a year after the beautiful proposal, surrounded by 30 people that we love and cherish.

A wedding is not everything, it should represent you, your couple and fit the budget you can afford, even if it means not being at the standard of other people’s expectations, but being true to who you are and what limit you want to reach and touch.

A Marriage is not all just about the wedding. It is not the happily ever after every one thinks of. It is sacred and need TLC, everyday. Effort, Thought, Love and the determination that no matter what, if you both want it and work at it, it can surmount anything. But both need to want to do it. Sometimes other things get in the way. A marriage often presents the mirror to what you need to build and work on, in this lifetime. It's about finding a way to do it... if the love is strong enough.

Love can also evolve and change. It's about continuously getting to know ourselves and our partner.

Live, Love and Laugh, that’s what it’s all about. Xx