24. My first Child

My first baby! I found out I was pregnant the day my godson was born. Holding him put me in a beautiful stir of emotions, an unusual one, that I had to take a pregnancy test. It was positive.

I wasn’t engaged with the dad yet, although I had made it quite clear that I needed to be married to have children. But life gave me the wings to accept I wasn’t going down that road, whilst having a child, at that point in my life. I was safe enough in my relationship that I knew this man would be the perfect father and that marriage wasn’t necessary to fulfill the dream of being a mother with a good man. He was and still is a good man.

I knew deep down in my soul that this man, married or not, was going to be a great father. One that was going to be present for our kids and myself. One that would care for us and be one with us. A partner, a Lover, a friend and a best one at that.

4 months into the pregnancy on January 18, I found out that our beautiful child was going to be a girl! A beautiful girl. One that would change our lives forever. That same say, he proposed!

The months went by, pregnancy wasn’t what I would call fun and loving. It was tough, I was sleepy and nauseous, I had to stop by the side of the road to have power naps, take nauseating salty plums to take the heart burns away and feel all the feels. In the end however, it was well worth it.

At 32 weeks pregnant, I had nothing ready, but I was had found a midwife to birth me. I was going to have my baby in my dream way. With a midwife and not in a hospital, until I reached 32 weeks of pregnancy. My daughter had other plans for me. She was excited to come and meet us. I was bed ridden for the next 2 and a half weeks, until she came along to meet us, at 34 weeks premature. She was perfect, strong, and perfectly healthy. She was just curious and ready to feel the world, just as she is today, at 11 years old. A strong-willed girl, with the need for adventure and to discover the world. Still perfect and amazing!

5 days after my delivery and being under surveillance, she was strong enough to come home. Only 5 days!

We then became a family of 4. 3 humans and a dog! You quickly learn that having children is not as “fun and rainbows” as the movies say they are. Much better in a certain way and Harder in the other. All worth it though.

She is the spitting image of her dad, even to this day. She is strong just like her dad. She is funny, caring, sweet and knows who she is, even at such a young age. I admire her deeply and will be forever grateful to have her in my life and for my husband to have given me this precious soul.

I love you My Lily, “Plus grand que l’univers et pour toujours!”