11. The Sports Coach

Sports are meant to make you feel good, feel part of a team, make friends, feel healthy and empowered. All sports have a way of bringing people together and uniting them to a common goal.

Parents want their children to learn some life important skills and lessons, that are often by practicing a sport and meeting new people.

The parents can't predict if the coach will have a good or bad effect on the child. Only time will tell...

I started swimming. I was good! I was a great swimmer! I went on to win several medals, in my short career of 8 to 10 years. I made some friends, who I don't see to this day.. (that says a lot) I learned some valuable skills from being a swimmer and being in a sport. Leadership, perseverance, practice makes perfect, Mind over matter psychology and much more, were the main skills I gained from being in this sport.

I wasn't the competitive type. I was the kind swimmer that would let other win, so they felt better about themselves. So I could make more friends... So not step on anyones feet... Less competitive, more social.

I was the swimmer who liked swimming, but mostly liked swimming because it made my mom and family members proud of me. I liked that they liked it. I liked that they were proud of me and showed me off. I was no longer the 5 year old burden, or the carer or the big sister. I was part of the team. I was part of a gang.

In swimming, like every other sports, you have to like to be competitive. I preferred the social aspect of it. Never really liked the training, the pushing, the competitive nature, the need to prove yourself to the coaches, the multiple hours of training and pushing my body to hurt some more... but I was good at it. So I continued. I was often the odd one out. I had friends, but once a friend and then you were taught to be in competition, to then no longer have a friend but a rival. I dint like the idea of being rivalled by all the girls I found fun to be around, but it had to be this way. Always a sense of competition between the girls, the boys, the parents, the coaches. Who's the best? Who will be part of which competition? Who will be part of which team? Who's the fastest?

Always a need to outdo everyone. It didn't feel natural to have to be so distant and so close to people all at once.

Through those rivalries, girls became mean and bullies. The more time went by, the more bullying they were. I now understand it was insecurities and competitiveness that was being projected. One minute I ousted and the other I was someones best friend. From one person to the next. I was always the nice one... The one that got eaten alive in a world of competitive girls and boys. A kind soul, who just wanted friendship... But I was clearly at the wrong place to make long lasting friendship.

The coaches also had their ways... Being abusive in the way they spoke to you. Putting you down. I started to think I wasn't good enough... Too hairy... Too fat... That I would never succeed in anything in life... That I would be a failure...

All because what I heard from the coaches. It was never enough for them. They had to push more and more. I'm sure it was for our benefit, but the way it was done, I know today, it wasn't the right way to go about coaching young 10-15 year olds. And I also know today, that no matter how bad it made me feel, for so many years, that today I can thank them for making me the person I am today.

I've always been a "Go Getter" because I was told I wouldn't never amount to anything good.

I've always persevered and been a hard worker for things I wanted, because I was told I was lazy and didn't want things enough.

Being brought down is a great way to be pushed and succeed!

Sports shape you, sports make you or brake you. That's true. It doesn't have to be forever and at all costs. Speak to the people around you. You might find the people you were in competition with felt the same... Lived the same things.

In the long run, it's all about what you make of the experience. Think of the good and the bad. Chances are the good outways (in the long run) the bad.